Understanding Nonverbal Communication

Most of the meaning transferred from one person to another in a personal conversation comes not from the words that are spoken, but from nonverbal signals. Learning to read, understand, and use these wordless messages isn't easy, but is essential for effective communication.

Reading nonverbal signals

The movement, positioning, and use of the human body in various communication settings serves a number of functions:

- To highlight or emphasize some part of a verbal message

- To regulate the flow, pace, and back-and-forth nature of verbal messages

- To reinforce the general tone or attitude of a message

- To repeat what the verbal messages convey (holding up three fingers to indicate the number three, for example)

- To substitute for, or take the place of, verbal messages (such as giving a "thumbs up" gesture).

Nonverbal cues are often difficult to read, especially because there are few body movements or gestures that have universally agreed-upon meanings. A colleague who looks tired or overworked to one person may appear disinterested or indifferent to another. While looking for meaning in a particular movement, position, or gesture, be careful not to miss more important signals that reveal the true feelings of a speaker. Body language can sometimes contradict the verbal messages being sent. Tears in a person's eyes, for example, might involuntarily contradict a message telling you that they are fine.

- Use Vocal Dynamics: Tone, volume, rate, pitch, forcefulness, and enunciation all convey meaning about a subject, and how you feel about the people in the room.

- Watch Your Appearance: Make sure that your clothing and grooming are appropriate to your audience, your reasons for communicating, and the occasion.

- Watch Your Eye Contact: Eye contact usually reinforces trust; however, in some Asian cultures, looking a superior in the eye as you speak can be considered disrespectful.

- Restrain Your Movements: Small gestures, close to your body, will convey an image of confidence and authority. Keep your voice low but audible and your posture relaxed.

- Take Care with Touch: The rules on touching others in a business context vary from culture to culture. Make sure you know and respect local customs.